Recently, a statistic revealing a shockingly low percentage of virgins to create an awareness on the “World Virginity Day” caused a heated discussion in a Whatsapp group I belong to. This led me to think about the role we gentlemen played in creating this rather unfortunate stat.
Most times whenever the issue of virginity is brought up it is the females that are placed under the blazing eyes of scrutiny forgetting it takes two to Tango.
For one to lose virginity there must be penile penetration and guess which species have the ability to provide such a service?
So this time round let’s put ourselves under the microscope for a minute.
Every guy wants to marry a virgin, a good thing to desire but the question is, do we as guys keep ourselves chaste until marriage? We go about sleeping around with the silly excuses of “having a test drive” or “gaining experience to please our partners when married”, utter bollocks I say!
There’s no pressure of pleasing your partner during sex when the two are virgins, for there would be no standard against which to gauge the sexual prowess of one another.
Funny how we forget that whiles gaining this “experience” we rid the world of virgins, one girl at a time. Then later cry that there are very few virgins in our era. Meanwhile, 8/10 times guys are the instigators of this sexual promiscuity. Putting so much pressure on the ladies to have sex with empty promises of undying love and after they succumb, we go about bragging about deflowering them to friends, painting vivid imageries of the latest conquest.
When babies come up as a result, we decline to accept responsibility and even go to the barbaric and demonic extent of suggesting abortion. After which we have the nerve to brand them names like “hoe”, “whore”, “shashee” etc causing emotional hurt and psychological scars.
Leaving them to process an act created by God to say “I love you” as to mean “I hate you”. We should never think we are free after committing such treacherous deeds. For even Shakespeare acknowledged in his play The Mourning Bride- “Heav’n has no rage, like love to hatred turn’d/ nor hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”.
One would ask what the benefits of virginity are. This I’d like to tackle from a Christian perspective. The Holy Bible talks about keeping our body pure in 1 Cor 6:19- 20 “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 20 For you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God with your body”.
Christ bought us with his blood and our bodies which the Holy Spirit dwells in are to glorify God so we can’t defile it by having unlawful sex- fornication.
In verse 18 it tells us that all sins are outside of the body but sexual sin is against the body and it admonishes as to FLEE.
So even though you may have a resolve stronger than that of Adam, Samson and David combined, ma guy I dey beg waa… just flee when you are in a tempting situation. “Flee sexual immorality! “Every sin a person commits is outside of the body” – but the immoral person sins against his own body.”
The bible talks about sexual immorality in the preceding verses of 1 Cor 6 from verse 12 downwards.
The severity of it is talked about in verse 16 “Or do you not know that anyone who is united with a prostitute is one body with her? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.””
You see sex is an act reserved for the married. Sex is a beautiful creation by God for married couples to consummate their union and also for reproduction to fill the earth. When a man and a woman engage is such an act their lives become intertwined, they become one. When this act is not performed within the confines for which God purposed, it has grave repercussions. It can lead to all sorts of problems spiritually which manifest in the physical. The act of sex is a sacred covenant which includes the transference of spirit. A piece of the person’s spirit is tied to yours and that of the other sexual partners the person has had in multiple escapades.
Moreover, we live in a generation of moral degradation. Some of us are comfortable practicing other types of sex (anal and oral) and sexually excite ourselves through “self-loving” acts like masturbating and using of sex toys since “technically” there has not been any penetration hence virginity staying intact. How corrupt and perverse that we give ourselves permission to partake in such things based on a misguided “technicality”.
Let’s not forget that sexually exciting activities reduce our resistance to say NO to sex before marriage.
We live in a dispensation where right is wrong and wrong is right. Times where all sorts of grotesque sexual acts are accepted and when voices are raised against them one is tagged as closed minded or having a phobia. I’m sure the citizens of Sodom and Gomorrah would be shaking their heads in disgust feeling unfairly treated by God when they see the sort of things we condone today. From legalizing same sex marriage, to accepting incest and practicing bestiality degrading ourselves to levels animals won’t even dare.
The media has subtly fed us with so much garbage we’ve caught the “Boiling Frog Syndrome”-[see Daniel Quinn’s Story of the B] that we’ve become comfortable with all the nonsense.
This is a call to all gents to keep chaste just as we expect our future wives to. If we’ve already broken our virginity it’s never too late to go to God to seek forgiveness as his Grace is ever sufficient. 1 John 1:9 “But if we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous, forgiving us our sins and cleansing us from all unrighteousness.”
However in Heb 10:26 lies a caveat “For if we deliberately keep on sinning after receiving the knowledge of the truth, no further sacrifice for sins is left for us”
Let us also get rid of all pornographic materials, and avoid sticky situations such as being alone with a lady in a room. Also watching videos and reading books which deal with abstinence from sex go a long way to help. A few books I would suggest are “Single & Not Ashamed” by Bishop Charles Agyinasare, “Sexual Freedom”– Joe Fauss and Francis N. Agyinasare’s “UPON DELILAH’S KNEES, A serious call to Christian Holiness”.
For I believe if we as gentlemen live a chaste life and keep our virginity there will be enough virgins to go around for everyone to marry.